by Koren Wetmore

When it comes to communication, the male gender is a perplexing beast. His eyes glaze over as you recount the details of your latest work project. He will abruptly look up and say something totally unrelated like, "I love you" when you've just told him your car needs a new transmission. But mention sex or his favorite sports team and you have his undivided attention. So you conclude--incorrectly--that he's a selective listener, only interested in certain topics. Yet the problem lies not with your subject material but your delivery.

Men communicate differently from women and understanding those differences is your key to being heard, says gender communication researcher Elizabeth J. Natalle, PhD, an associate professor of communication at the University of North Carolina in Greensboro. "Women use their brains in a more integrated way and tend to move around in conversation topics," she says. "Men tend to use the left side and right side [of the brain] in a more compartmentalized way and progress from point to point in conversation."

This biological difference plus social influences affect your guy's listening skills. Fortunately, the following steps can help you adapt your delivery and ensure that your message gets through.

Forget Eye Contact

You may want eye contact, but it's not proof that he's listening. Studies suggest that when faced with two channels of information, men will focus on one and ignore the other. This means he actually listens better to your words if he's not looking at you...

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