by Koren Wetmore

Pop quiz time. You're at your favorite watering hole and the group is discussing popular music, when someone says that opera is reserved for closet-dwelling geeks who can't keep a beat on the dance floor. Do you pipe up and confess that the score from La Boheme stirs your soul? Or, do you hover silently over your cocktail only to later sob over your Pavarotti collection? If you chose silence and sobbing, you may be trading the joy of an authentic life for the drudgery of living someone else's idea of what your life should be.

From birth to death we are bombarded with the opinions of parents, friends, teachers and lovers. "Not only do we hear those voices but we also hear the voices of people we see on TV," says Susan Piver, author of The Hard Questions for an Authentic Life. "You need to separate those family, media and cultural messages from who you really are."

But it can be hard to separate those voices from our inner truth. In fact society encourages us to trade our real selves in favor of the latest concept of what is considered right to wear, do and have to be successful. But only you can define what is right for you, because you are the one who knows you best. And if you don't know your real self, it's time you two got acquainted.

Getting to Know You

Before you can get real, you've got to get quiet, says psychologist Suzanne Zoglio...

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